Sunday, 25 September 2016

Mr Cyphier-Growing to kill the pain

Where did it begin...
Two years ago, there I was sitting watching the world go by from a small two bedroom apartment, the cats were on the floor running amok I was watching the X-Men movie, and in my hand was a bottle of Anti-Depressants.   Staring at them intently I made the descision that enough was enough.   And down the hatch they went.....it only took about 5 minutes for the reality to set in as to what had just happened, and this wasn't the first time, but the fear was very real.
I can't even remember WHY I had taken the pills, but I am sure it was something mediocre and irrelevant now sitting here writing this 2 years later.  The reality was simple, I had decided the world was better off without me.  I was ready to go.  Anyhow...why am I still here you ask ...simple I chickened out last second and rammed my fingers down my own throat throwing up all over the room, laying down quickly and realizing I wasn't even sure the pills would have done the job, but that was alright whatever depression/panic attack issue had caused the original thoughts was irrelevant i was alive and laying in my bed just chillin out course my throat hurt cause throwing up whole pills sucks. 

While I was laying there I started thinking to myself, holy fuck I was alone, I was sitting in a room surrounded by things I loved and it wasn't enough it wasn't even close.   The problem wasn't anything anyone had done or not done it was all the shit that was spinning around in my brain.  All the things my 40 year old ass hadn't done in the last years.   So many things I hadn't accomplished and so many times I'd just rolled over and died.
I got up the next day feeling like total shit, was ready to call in sick to work and realized that the virtual handcuffs of an over inflated financial system had me again, I put on my little dress shirt and pants and went off to manage the Local Denny's where i was chastized for soemthing irrelevant I had missed the night before.  Looking around the restaurant it all became clear....
I had become everything I hated.   
People ask me all the time where Cyphier started for me, it was that morning, I called up a friend and said HEY I HAVE AN IDEA!  Lets record the angry bullshit that comes out of my mouth and you put some music behind it...it'll be fun...it'll be something to kill some time and make us not feel so dead inside.  
So we started as the music for Overthought started to take shape I realized it was the story of the night that started this that was going into the cell phone microphone, yes Overthought was actually written using a cell phone to record, hell Jason and I weren't even in the same room until we recorded the last track for the record.   
Anyhow, we threw the music up on TuneCore, tried a few live shows and were ready to pack it in when something happened...people were actually listening to it...they were genuinely listening to it and they were talking to us about the music and the message.  
So there ya have it...some people start a band to tell a story, some to make money, for me it was simply something to kill the pain of all that nothing inside......
Thanks for listening and if you'd like to check out my website or Facebook, please do! 
Forever waiting, 

Louis Cyphier.